Thursday 4 June 2009

Tight Fist Tip #6: Avoid Designer Sunglasses

All The Hottest Stylez!

Certainly, being duped by clever branding causes an inordinate amount of stupid spending. But it can be really hard to figure out whether a certain brand is worth it or not. The problem is, we just don't know enough about the quality of various goods, so buying a well-known brand may be a way to ensure you are getting quality. (Note that the Tight Fist is extremely skeptical of this argument, but I will concede that in certain cases it is possible.) Since this is a somewhat difficult situation, I'm going to focus on one not-so-subtle clue that should help you decide whether buying some brand is worth it.
I am in Love With The Rear-View Mirror

Here's a good rule of thumb: If you can buy an exact replica of your brand's product from some Senegalese dude on the streets of any major European city, THEN YOUR BRAND IS TOTALLY WORTHLESS!!!

The most obvious example of this tip-off comes from sunglasses, though this logic also works wonders for watches and handbags. Buying expensive sunglasses is a seriously unforgivable offense, as THEY ARE JUST A STRIP OF FREAKING PLASTIC. It is unfathomable why people will drop hundreds of dollars on a little strip of plastic to put in front of their eyes that will remove the world of color while most likely making you look like a total prick. 'Woah, you can't see my eyes! I could totally be looking anywhere and you wouldn't even know! I am SO edgy and dangerous! Urge to look at self in the mirror...rising...'

Also, the only difference between designer sunglasses and far cheaper alternatives is some little cheesy plastic logo on the side. That's right, you just dropped a hundred bucks on one square centimeter on plastic. Congratulations.

But look, even if you really wanted nice, flashy, designer sunglasses, why on earth would you buy the real ones when you would need to be a forensic scientist to distinguish real ones from the fake? Fortunately Tight Fisters, I do understand the faulty logic that leads one to such terrible decisions, and I am here to help you root it out. But since it is a complicated subject, you will have to wait until tomorrow for the next post.


  1. Stein,

    Sunglasses are a poor example for your point. Almost all of what you pay for in a good pair of sunglasses is the lenses. Ask anyone who has bought good glasses (also expensive largely because of the lesnses) and they will tell you that its sometimes worth it as you point out to drop it "to ensure you are getting quality." I will still be showing the sun's rays whose boss long after your Chinese shop produced, Senegalese vendor sold, knock off sunglasses have shattered to pieces in the bottom of your pack and left your hands bloody from searching for them.

    But I do agree about handbags!

    Keep the fist clenched tight.

  2. I agree with Will that sunglasses are a bad example.

    I would appreciate it if you could advise us on how to tell whether the Chinese-made Sengegalese vendor-sold sunglasses have genuine lenses that can actually prevent your eyes from being destroyed.

  3. Dudes, you are totally overestimating the amount that goes into the lenses versus the brand. You can get perfectly good UV-blocking sunglasses at any drugstore for just a few bucks. And if you ask any street vendor, you will get a rock-solid verbal guarantee that his sunglasses give the same protection. And why would he lie?

  4. The only exception to this would be those of us who have crappy eyesight and thus need prescription lenses. Which is why i've never bought sunglasses.

  5. There is exactly one feature that would merit $100 for sunglasses. A special GPS chip that would allow you to find the sunglasses after you lose them. This feature would be put to use in every pair of sunglasses in the first week.

    It isn't that $100 dollars for sunglasses is too much, its that $15 per day for sunglasses is too much.

    On an interesting aside, I bought my no-name-brand sunglasses at Whole Foods. Where is your YHWH now?

  6. YHWH? Ok, thanks to Google I now get it. But really, there is no possible way that anything you bought at Whole Foods was not a rip-off, brand or no brand. Are they at least organic?

  7. They block 12 different types of photons!

  8. Stein!! Don't let me ever hear you talk about Whole Foods like that again. Who gives a shit what anything costs there. It's the girls man. The girls. I go there and just walk around with a shopping cart, without buying anything. AND they have free wi-fi internet! How do you like that you tight fist you??

  9. My mom bought a pair of designer sunglasses once and changed the lens because it wasn't to her liking. The store confirmed that there is no difference between "designer lens" and ordinary, cheap plastic no-brand lens.

    Cost of frames: £300
    Cost of lens: £2.50

    Women don't buy designer goods to get laid (we're not programmed the way men are). It's called SELF-SATISFACTION (and if anything, it's a power play with the same sex).