tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58313408373162089452024-03-06T03:38:01.493+00:00The Tight Fist - Lessons In Frugality From A Real JewLessons in Frugality from a real JewThe Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.comBlogger81125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-83294935133965041982014-12-16T19:48:00.000+00:002014-12-16T19:48:45.127+00:00Ask The Tight Fist: Sharing Food For a Group Trip<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>Eggs for All!</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hi Tight Fist,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />I am going on a trip with a group of friends. We'll be renting a cabin and hanging out for a few days. The inevitable question arises, how do we divide up food purchasing? It seems that any solution leaves someone feeling ripped off. What is the best policy to suggest? I tend to lean toward anarchic self-organizing principles as a rule, so potluck?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Faithfully,</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">potunlucky</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Dear Potunlucky,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This is certainly a difficult situation. The problem is that undoubtedly, your cabin buddies do not know how to adhere to Tight Fist principles. But how can you remove yourself from that culture without looking like a cheap mooch?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Well, I see two possible solutions. If the group wants to do a bulk purchase of food/drink that everyone shares, just take charge and do the purchasing yourself. This allows you control over that amount that is spent per person, and you can ensure that the shopping is done efficiently. But this solution is kind of annoying- it requires you doing all the shopping, which sucks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The second solution is along the lines you proposed above: every man for himself. But you don't want to be in a position where everyone is trying to cook different meals- groups meals are both nice and efficient. So instead, you can volunteer for a couple of meals, and hope that others do the same. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now, we are working under the assume that others in your group are going to want to spend more than you. So how do you make sure you don't come off looking like a cheapskate? The key is to make sure that your food offerings are of high quality, even if they are easy on the wallet. Any Tight Fister knows it's easy to make <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/06/tight-fist-cooking-guide.html" target="_blank">great meals on the cheap</a>. (Pancakes and eggs are a great idea, especially if you happen to know someone with chickens who is always looking to give away eggs...) For drinks, you could make a nice cocktail with an inexpensive bottle of booze, instead of shelling out for the 20-yr old scotch. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Happy Camping!</span></div>
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The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-8117893129182430642014-12-12T20:40:00.000+00:002014-12-12T20:40:56.365+00:00Tight Fist Tip #52: The Supermarket Bulk Produce Scam<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Walking into the produce section of a supermarket, you have a lot of options. But usually the choices are pretty straighforward: should I buy broccoli or cucumber? Do these nectarines look good. Etc? But there is one scam that you need to watch out for: the old "prepackage mark-up". For instance, say you wanted to buy some carrots. Well, mere feet away you'd be presented with two options:<br />
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<b>Putting Things into a Bag is Soooo Hard</b></div>
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Which one should you get? (Note that these are both store brand, so probably literally came out of the same field.) Well, without looking at the prices, any reasonable person would probably think that if you want to eat a lot of carrots, you should buy the bagged one, since buying in bulk is generally cheaper (my <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2014/12/tight-fist-tip-51-supermarket-multi-buy.html" target="_blank">last post</a> not withstanding). And if you don't want a lot, it's probably better to buy the loose ones, so you don't waste money on spoiled carrots. But let's take a look at the prices: the loose carrots cost $.79/lb, and the bag of carrots costs $1.69 for a bag. And the bag weighs...1 pound.<br />
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This is where minds should start exploding. That's right, the same goddamn carrots sit two feet apart in the supermarket, with one option MORE THAN TWICE AS EXPENSIVE as the other. And not to mention not only is the loose option cheaper, but it allows more choice as the buyer can buy exactly the amount that they need. How the hell do those bagged carrots survive as a product?? Well, we all know that normal shoppers are idiots, but the fine readers of this blog do not have to fall this trap.<br />
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Now let's look at an example that is even more mind-boggling. In the potato display below, they literally sat the packaged potatoes in the middle of the loose ones. It isn't so clear from the picture, but the packaged potatoes cost $2.99 for 2 lb, while the loose ones cost $.99/lb. Ok math geniuses, which one is cheaper? Yes once again, the incredible strain of having to choose how many potatoes to buy allows you to buy potatoes at 2/3 the price of the packaged ones.<br />
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Although it's not shown in the picture, the potato situation was even worse. Just out of range, are little bags with 4 of the loose potatoes, simply pre-bagged for your convenience. So even if for some reason you are too brain-dead to choose a number of potatoes on your own, you can still take the cheaper option.<br />
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<b>Proof that Supermarkets Think Their Customers are Idiots.</b></div>
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And OK, just to belabor the point, here is one more example:</div>
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<b>Ewww! Dirty Shroom Slime on My Fingers!</b></div>
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The packaged mushrooms are $6/lb, while the loose ones are $4/lb. And just in case you think that the X-ed out "normal" price of $8.99/lb on loose mushrooms means these are on sale, that's just laughable. Crossing out fake high prices is another <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/10984087/Supermarkets-accused-of-misleading-shoppers-with-fake-special-offers.html" target="_blank">favorite trick</a> of supermarkets. </div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">Now, this is a rule of thumb and is not true 100% of the time- it's always good to check the prices. Specifically, the big bulk bags of apples or onions are generally cheaper on a per-pound basis than the loose ones. But mushrooms almost never are. Happy shopping, Tight Fisters!</span></div>
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The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-55191901921658339812014-12-05T22:47:00.000+00:002014-12-12T00:50:32.996+00:00Tight Fist Tip #51: Supermarket Multi-buy Scam<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Welcome to the first of a 3-part series on efficient shopping at the supermarket.<br />
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If you've been to the supermarket lately, you've surely noticed a multitude of so-called "specials": 10/$10.00! 4/$5.00! For instance, check out the below price tag for avocados at a local Safeway:<br />
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<b>Guacamole or Nothing!</b></div>
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This is a ridiculous price tag on many levels, but let's abstract from the "club price" nonsense. The tag says in REALLY BIG letters that the avocados are four for $5, and in really small letters, it "clarifies" that they cost $1.25 each. Based on this, many people dutifully grab 4 four avocados, and then have to make a big bowl of guacamole or risk having their delicious avocados wither and spoil. </div>
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But this crap is all JUST A SCAM. What's the price if you just buy 1 avocado? Well, it's just $1.25. The 4/$5.00 sign is meant to mislead people into thinking they need to buy four to get some kind of special price. (Or if you want to be a bit more charitable towards the supermarket, you could call it a "nudge".) But in any case, it's a scam to try to trick people into buying more stuff. Prominently displaying the unit price would clearly be more useful to shoppers. </div>
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Now, you might notice that in the lower-right corner is a note explaining that the unit price is indeed $1.25. But again, it's unclear to the uninitiated whether this price can only be obtained by buying 4. But the inclusion of the unit price does not give any additional information. Consider the example below, where there is no unit price. </div>
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<b>What the Fuck am I Going to Do with 10 Cans of Sardines?</b></div>
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Again, one can of sardines is just $1.00. The whole 10/10 thing is just some misleading bullshit.</div>
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The only time that multi-buys are real is when a price tag says "Buy one, get one Free", "Single Item Costs XX", or something like that. </div>
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Just in case you don't believe me, here is the receipt below from when I bought exactly what I needed: one avocado and one can of sardines. Damn good sandwich. </div>
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The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-41950315799949037262013-05-04T09:06:00.000+01:002013-05-06T16:41:02.110+01:00A critical deconstruction of the song "Thrift Shop"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>I'm gonna pop some tags</i><br />
<i>Only got twenty dollars in my pocket</i><br />
<i>I - I - I'm hunting, looking for a come-up</i><br />
<i>This is fucking awesome</i><br />
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Unless you've been living under a rock for the past year, you've probably heard the song "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. In this post we ask: are the artists promoting Tight Fist principles or simply making fun of frugality?<br />
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Upon a first listen, the answer isn't totally clear. The song is all about shopping around for deals and getting bargains, which is generally positive. But it also promotes unnecessary consumption, and could be interpreted as trying to score humor points on being poor. (The latter criticism can be squarely aimed at the TV show "Two Broke Girls", which simply sucks and deserves no deconstruction.)<br />
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As have written <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/07/tight-fist-tip-18-sales-and-promotions.html" target="_blank">here</a>, a common pitfall is for people to be tricked into purchasing things they don't need in the name of a discount. It would certainly be difficult to justify Macklemore's "need" to purchase some of the items he mentions:<br />
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<i>They had a broken keyboard, I bought a broken keyboard</i><br />
<i>I bought a skeet blanket, then I bought a kneeboard</i><br />
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The song also explains that Macklemore wants to look great, and cares heavily about how he is perceived by others. It would be easy to accuse him of Kanye-esque self-doubt, compensated by consumption:<br />
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<i>Nah, walk up to the club like, "What up? I got a big cock!"</i><br />
<i>I'm so pumped about some shit from the thrift shop</i><br />
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Under this interpretation, Macklemore wants to look as good as he can but is simply constrained by resources and is taking some humor out of his poor circumstance.<br />
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They key lies in analyzing the counter-factual: if Macklemore had more than $20 in his pocket, would he still shop at the thrift shop? Fortunately, the second verse provides some insight:<br />
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<i>They be like, "Oh, that Gucci - that's hella tight."</i><br />
<i>I'm like, "Yo - that's fifty dollars for a T-shirt."</i><br />
<i>Limited edition, let's do some simple addition</i><br />
<i>Fifty dollars for a T-shirt - that's just some ignorant bitch (shit)</i><br />
<i>I call that getting swindled and pimped (shit)</i><br />
<i>I call that getting tricked by a business</i><br />
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I'd say this proves that Macklemore's love of his thrift shop finds is genuine, and that he'll continue to rock his "flannel zebra jammies" once he has more income (which he definitely does now that "Thift Shop" became a runaway hit).<br />
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Overall, the conclusion is that although it does promote a bit of overconsumption, "Thift Shop" is mostly consistent with Tight Fist principles, and actually might have the ability to influence some young minds. And for those young minds still worried about the costs of a Tight Fist lifestye, don't forget this gem of wisdom:<br />
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<i>Peep game, come take a look through my telescope</i><br />
<i>Tryna get girls from a brand? Man you hella won't</i></div>
The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-21284528927064544762012-12-25T08:46:00.002+00:002012-12-25T08:46:48.482+00:00Non-essential Book Review: Scroogenomics<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Scrooge says: Hoarding is so much more fun than gift-giving!</td></tr>
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This is a nice time of year to be a practicing Tight Fister. Yes, this is the time of year when we can just sit back and relax while out less enlightened friends waste their time and money in crowded, soulless temples of commercialism (aka shopping malls). While the subject of how to deal with gift-giving traditions has already been covered in old posts (<a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/12/tight-fist-tip-33-stop-exchanging-gifts.html" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/12/tight-fist-gift-giving-guide.html" target="_blank">here</a>), a new book, Scroogenomics: "Why You Shouldn't Buy Presents for the Holidays," covers much of the same ground, adding some very light numerical analysis to the mix.<br />
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As all of you know, I would never recommend that anyone ever <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2010/03/tight-fist-tip-35-dont-buy-books.html" target="_blank">buy a book</a>. Therefore, as my Christmas present to all of you, I'm going to just summarize the main points, and then none of you need bother to read it.<br />
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The main argument is that gift giving is economically inefficient. Common sense (and some experiments conducted by the author) tell us that on average, people value gifts around 20% less than gift givers spent on them. (I mean really, how much do you value your 37th tie?) So basically, the practice of gift giving creates gigantic waste in the economy, which the author estimates at $12 million. Now, did you actually need a whole book to make that simple argument? Clearly no, but the author belabors the point for 186 pages.<br />
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There are a few interesting tidbits along the way. Although giving cash is clearly the most efficient gift, people don't tend to give cash due to a kind of 'cash stigma' perceived from cash gifts. For gift-givers who don't know the preferences of their recipients well (such as grandparents), their gifts tend to be the least efficient, and therefore tend to give cash more. Taking a bunch of questionable survey data, he estimates the 'cash stigma' to be equal to around $4 plus half the amount of cash given. Therefore a gift of $100 is valued at only $46 due to the stigma of receiving cash. Sucks, huh?<br />
<br />
One way to square the circle here appears to be with gift cards. Well-planned gift cards can be a very good substitute for cash, but carry almost no stigma.<br />
<br />
Well, there you go: ample reason to stop gift-exchanging. I know you will all take it to heart, because if can't trust a nerdy economist rambling on about efficiency, who can you trust?</div>
The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-71215222751096862012-12-20T04:51:00.001+00:002012-12-20T04:51:03.275+00:00Ask the Tight Fist: Saving on Moving Costs<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZui6BhdzhUGTgOtppT2m5cSudom-cxauk-fgputtbj06rLrkjw6rBxaqHMbFO9vITnM6ZD1QA4MBBLjOqHzAJCEosLBP8yJ-WK6xJrHy8ANB2KP9bX6PFBFMl6Wtt48bQ9MBS_NK_E4Dm/s1600/swimming+truck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZui6BhdzhUGTgOtppT2m5cSudom-cxauk-fgputtbj06rLrkjw6rBxaqHMbFO9vITnM6ZD1QA4MBBLjOqHzAJCEosLBP8yJ-WK6xJrHy8ANB2KP9bX6PFBFMl6Wtt48bQ9MBS_NK_E4Dm/s320/swimming+truck.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Even works for Moving to Atlantis</div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear The Tight Fist,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Love the blog; I'm getting ready to move and was wondering how I can apply your principles to moving, which can be so expensive.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Any tips?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sarah in Houston (soon to be San Antonio)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">--------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Dear Sarah,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Shame on you: you have clearly not been following Tight Fist principles. If you had, moving would be a breeze as you would own hardly any possessions and no furniture worth moving. Over the last 7 years The Tight Fist has lived in 8 places in four countries. Total moving costs: 0 (beyond the cost of moving myself.) Yes, when all your life fits into two bags, so many things just simplify. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">But I'm going to assume that you have been naughty over the years: slowly acquiring furniture, dishes, electronics, and other modern vices that you just can't part with. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">It's here that you might expect a lengthy comparison of different options for moving your stuff: movers, shipping, those weird pods, etc. But really, this will just waste everyone's time. All the options are stupid expensive except for just renting a truck and driving yourself. A quick look on Budget shows you can get a moving truck for a day and drive it from Houston to San Antonio for around $75. Not too shabby.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhDLe9WvA4oI4AVnn7DbQknqsIV93jVWrL74Zw0WFz6HM2pAmAq4R7PfD2oTIaW5ub8QzWnArjE8HZ2NTGyxNWojclwSUAeZlo7AgAZjTBnKxFIQ8kmbNbFS8wTsW85gKnqcV7Q8cPcvoG/s1600/bigbang.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhDLe9WvA4oI4AVnn7DbQknqsIV93jVWrL74Zw0WFz6HM2pAmAq4R7PfD2oTIaW5ub8QzWnArjE8HZ2NTGyxNWojclwSUAeZlo7AgAZjTBnKxFIQ8kmbNbFS8wTsW85gKnqcV7Q8cPcvoG/s320/bigbang.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Hold on. You honestly expect me to believe that social <br />protocol dictates we break our backs helping Wolowitz move, <br />and then he only need buy us a pizza?</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">But, you say, how can a young lady be expected to haul couches and dressers by herself? Well, that's where a wonderful social equation comes into play: Pizza = Moving. That's right, your burly male friends are required by covenant of friendship to do a day's worth of manual labor with only pizza (and maybe some beer) in return. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.5em;">So with pizza and beer on both ends, we're talking about around $125 bucks for your move. Not bad.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But what if you have no burly friends to come to your rescue? Well, fortunately in Texas "friends" are easy to purchase, standing each day outside of Home Depot. You might have to pay your new amigo a bit more than the price of a pizza, but not too much.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Enjoy your move!</span></div>
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The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-2864861092753331482012-11-17T22:45:00.002+00:002012-11-17T22:47:06.756+00:00Tight Fist Tip #50: Reschedule the Holidays<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tight Fist Thanksgiving: Saturday, Nov 17, 2012</td></tr>
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Everyone loves getting the family together for the holidays, but the traveling can be a nightmare. On Thanksgiving weekend especially, roads are clogged and airport lines are long. And perhaps even more important, ticket prices are insane. It makes you wonder whether seeing your family is even worth it at all. So what is a Tight Fisted family supposed to do?<br />
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The answer is simple: reschedule the holidays! Say goodbye to all those suckers who think that for some crazy reason thanksgiving HAS to be celebrated on the fourth Thursday of every months, and say hello to low-stress travel, cheap tickets, and a happy family! </div>
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Hat tip the The Tight Fist's Aunt Barb, who promptly rescheduled the holiday after realizing that she could spend $300 less on plane tickets the weekend before Thanksgiving. The turkey never tasted sweeter.</div>
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The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-68062267256079235832012-05-30T16:24:00.000+01:002012-05-30T16:24:09.133+01:00Tight Fist Tip #49: Drinking at the Bar? Drink Beer.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX5IrQXI1du6JGW0yffwg3euBvE6J1N99_FFs38HJQd_YSXfKAk-iJ6YxuWrhRVKT1w_nwOst3_9Lf3nMtQndmQxxTe0A2gYaCH4Ku3_QvFzCGSpaUlcuXoHWfA4g2ILzEPUpyJBJUAnOB/s1600/shotandbeer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX5IrQXI1du6JGW0yffwg3euBvE6J1N99_FFs38HJQd_YSXfKAk-iJ6YxuWrhRVKT1w_nwOst3_9Lf3nMtQndmQxxTe0A2gYaCH4Ku3_QvFzCGSpaUlcuXoHWfA4g2ILzEPUpyJBJUAnOB/s320/shotandbeer.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<b>God Bless America</b><br />
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In my <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2012/04/tight-fist-tip-48-drinking-at-home-take.html">last post</a>, we determined that if staying in or pregaming, drinking shots is the Tight Fist friendly way to get drunk. But what if you've been dragged out to a bar, and are being forced to inebriate yourself at sobriety-inducing prices?<br />
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As always we use our go-to benchmark: volume alcohol per dollar. Let's start in the US, using the excellent DC dive bar The Mad Hatter as our pricing benchmark. I used happy hour prices (as I assume my followers are doing most of their drinking during happy hour), but the relative prices are indicative of normal pricing as well: a pint of beer and a well mixed drink are priced about equally, with wine being higher. So, how do they stack up?<br />
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Budweiser, 16oz: $3. Abv 5% = .8 oz alcohol; 193.3 calories; Calories/Oz alcohol = 241.67; Oz Alc/$ = <b>.27</b><br />
Mixed Drinks, 1.5 oz: $3. Avb 40% = .6 oz alcohol; 109.5 Calories; Calories/Oz alcohol = 182.5; Oz Alc/$ = <b>.2</b><br />
Wine, 6oz: $5. Abv 12% = .72 oz alcohol; 125.5 calories; Calories/Oz alcohol = 211.72; Oz Alc/$ = <b>.14</b><br />
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The beer is the winner, by virtue of it containing a bit more alcohol per drink than a mixed drink. But notice that it's pretty close- if you're at a bar with generous mixed drink pours or pricey beers, the balance could easily tip in the drinks' favor. Shot and a beer combo? Don't mind if I do.<br />
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But what if you're across the pond in Europe? Well, it's well-known that spirit prices in Europe are totally out of whack.(Especially since most places have the gall to charge extra for the mixer, which I don't even get into here.) Let's do the same comparison at one of my favorite London haunts, The Lexington:<br />
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Kronenbourg 1664, 19.2 oz: £3.50. Abv 4.7% = .9 oz alcohol; 227 calories; Calories/Oz Alc = 254.44; Oz Alc/£: <b>.26</b><br />
Red Wine, 5.9oz: £4.10. Abv 12% = .71 oz alchohol; 149.9 Calories; Calories/Oz alcohol = 211.1; Oz Alcohol/Pound = <b>.17</b><br />
Smirnoff, 1.69oz: £4.15. Abv 40% = .68 oz alcohol; 123.4 Calories; Calories/Oz alcohol = 182; Oz Alcohol/Pound = <b>.16</b><br />
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Here the beer easily defeats all comers, and the wine even edges out the spirits. And since the ridiculous Weights and Measures Act in the UK assures that you can never get a decent pour of a mixed drink, there is just no chance for the limey cocktail lover.<br />
<br />
So kids, the formula has been discovered: take (a lot of) shots before you go out, and then nurse a few beers at the bar. Drunk with a full wallet- it's a good life.
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</div>The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-10468315110328570172012-04-01T23:42:00.007+01:002012-04-10T15:32:32.044+01:00Tight Fist Tip #48: Drinking at Home? Take Shots.<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix2dWF0jGaOz-CDyLh3bD_SChro2OLUvc9PvUvqKqcmWY7mzyc_EdqCWafgLSs1qCHImDyw4yoWwCs968_nvKoSLNmRgQZKLloms3E9YXYRq_HpxseHLqn7c1E6PDHeYdtzjI_aLWjnVsH/s1600/tequilashots.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix2dWF0jGaOz-CDyLh3bD_SChro2OLUvc9PvUvqKqcmWY7mzyc_EdqCWafgLSs1qCHImDyw4yoWwCs968_nvKoSLNmRgQZKLloms3E9YXYRq_HpxseHLqn7c1E6PDHeYdtzjI_aLWjnVsH/s320/tequilashots.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5729236997475764210" /></a><br /><b>These Girls Are Smarter Than They Look.</b></div><br /><br />In my <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2012/03/tight-fist-tip-47-dont-drink-light-beer.html" target="_blank">last post</a>, we explored different beer types and came to one clear conclusion: never drink light beer. But with so many drunkefying options available, is beer really your best choice? When you head out on the town, what's your call? Beer, wine, or hard alcohol? We will again rely on our go-to metric: ounces of alcohol per dollar. <br /><br />This comparison is less straightforward, as prices vary widely by bar and by type of booze. In this post, we concentrate on supermarket prices, taken from <a href="http://www.bevmo.com" target="_blank">Bevmo</a>. As any good Tight Fister knows, "premium" wine and spirits are nothing more than branding trickery, so we go with low-priced options. (Prices are $2.99 for a bottle of wine, and $15 for a 1.75L handle of Gordon's Vodka.) Here's the breakdown, using USA "standard drink" volumes for easy comparison:<br /><br />Budweiser, 12oz: $1.10. Avb 5% = .6 oz alcohol; 145 Calories<br />Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = <span style="font-weight:bold;">.55</span>; Calories/Oz alcohol = 241.67<br /><br />Vodka, 1.5 oz: $.38. Avb 40% = .6 oz alcohol; 109.5 Calories<br />Oz Alcohol/Dollar = <span style="font-weight:bold;">1.57</span>; Calories/Oz alcohol = 182.5<br /><br />Wine, 5oz: $.59. Abv 12% =.6 oz alcohol; 127 Calories<br />Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = <span style="font-weight:bold;">1.02</span>; Calories/Oz alcohol = 211.67<br /><br />The vodka comes out as the winner by a long shot, providing almost 3 times as much alcohol per dollar as a Bud! The astute among you may argue that the purchase of spirits allows more of a scale factor, but we could do the same analysis of if you bought an entire keg of Bud, and it still gets smoked:<br /><br />Budweiser, 12oz: $.71. Avb 5% = .6 oz alcohol; 145 Calories<br />Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = <span style="font-weight:bold;">.85</span>; Calories/Oz alcohol = 241.67<br /><br />And just to be clear, I didn't even pick the super-cheap hangover-inducing homeless person vodka. (Which of course, I do support in theory.) Gordon's is standard well booze. <br /><br />Moral of the story: get wasted on hard liquor at home. And as an added bonus, it's also the most calorie-efficient option. Of course, if you want to get less drunk and more fat you can waste your money by mixing your booze with sugar water, but even with that you're going to be more efficient than wine or beer.<br /><br />Also, hard liquor is easy to put in a flask to make your experience at the bar (or ballgame) even more Tight Fist friendly. But what if you've screwed up and end up at a bar without your trusty flask, and are, God forbid, sober? Rest assured Tight Fisters, we will have the bar analysis in the next post. Preview: hard liquor is no longer the winner. Exciting!The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-53090158217336868912012-03-14T02:14:00.006+00:002012-03-14T20:36:02.382+00:00Tight Fist Tip #47: Don't Drink Light Beer<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe6bvfE43BEiMSr4SNU89KNLJJFwcPdCVcwTzsnjVU-b6c5o15Yz7eKXyHVwzY8x3x0rwmvH7k5-kn8ea25yNyy5e4Phx9l7Rd0HcMv9tqIPkgfdny9mdK1sn7IOq42-js2Ge_58cwsnr/s1600/budlight.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 265px; height: 176px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPe6bvfE43BEiMSr4SNU89KNLJJFwcPdCVcwTzsnjVU-b6c5o15Yz7eKXyHVwzY8x3x0rwmvH7k5-kn8ea25yNyy5e4Phx9l7Rd0HcMv9tqIPkgfdny9mdK1sn7IOq42-js2Ge_58cwsnr/s320/budlight.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5719581909649747890" /></a><br /><b>Wasting money is so hot right now.</b></div><br /><br />There's nothing like the introduction of a completely inessential product to test Tight Fist techniques. It's not immediately clear why anyone at Budweiser thought that Bud Light Platinum was a great idea, but it presents an interesting possibility: marketed as higher alcohol and lower calorie, this is potentially an efficient purchase. Let's break it down.<br /><br />When considering what to buy, the metric is simple: most alcohol per dollar. Since we're considering light beers, we'll also vaguely consider the calorie count, as some of you people out there prefer to waste your money by eating too much food. As we will be just comparing various brands of Budweiser, we will not consider taste. That is because all these beers taste like crap. (Prices taken from Safeway.com.)<br /><br />Budweiser, 12oz: $1.00. Avb 5% = .6 oz alcohol; 145 Calories<br />Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = .6; Calories/Oz alcohol = 241.67<br /><br />Bud Light, 12oz: $1.00. Avb 4.2% = .504 oz alcohol; 115 Calories<br />Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = .504; Calories/Oz alcohol = 228.17<br /><br />Bud Light Platinum, 12oz: $1.17. Avb 6% = .72 oz alcohol; 137 Calories<br />Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = .61; Calories/Oz alcohol = 190.28<br /><br />What's the takeaway message? Well, purchasing Bud Light is completely idiotic. Not only is it more expensive to get drunk, but saves you almost no calories over normal Bud. The new Bud Light Platinum, however, is not such a bad deal. It has basically the same amount of alcohol per dollar, but fewer calories for those who care. This analysis also relies on Bud Light Platinum being only 17% more expensive than normal Budweiser. If that wedge is greater, stick with the normal Bud.<br /><br />In case you've forgotten, check out previous posts on efficient drinking <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/05/tight-fist-tip-3-going-out-and-drinking.html" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2010/08/guide-to-partying-on-cheap.html" target="_blank">here</a>.<br /><br />For a related perspective on Bud Light Platinum, check out my friends at <a href="http://jstreetbeer.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/brew-review-bud-light-platinum/="_blank">J Street Beer</a>.The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-72505669834251167472012-03-08T03:45:00.007+00:002012-03-08T16:38:48.033+00:00Tight Fist Tip #46: Buy An Ugly House in a Shady Neighborhood<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi1yPs1joDOoYht_XStJEGogZDqC9d2PBWXHODI-AIeGEoaXJHiyHL4qMdp3ICw8OhcopdkHCitFN6irzhz3LsxXNiVQlPTphMPuWCjGj-a_E7PeoAdGXW7BM8zGaPQoXiYXGkYEx9WcPA/s1600/house2.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi1yPs1joDOoYht_XStJEGogZDqC9d2PBWXHODI-AIeGEoaXJHiyHL4qMdp3ICw8OhcopdkHCitFN6irzhz3LsxXNiVQlPTphMPuWCjGj-a_E7PeoAdGXW7BM8zGaPQoXiYXGkYEx9WcPA/s320/house2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5717379775597648018" /></a><br /><b>Chez Le Tight Fist</b></div><br />While <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Ricardo#Rent" target="_blank">David Ricardo's</a> ideas on rent may have fallen out of fashion, I think we can all agree that a little part of us dies every time we write a rent check. Your landlord is likely doing nothing but sitting on his ass and feeling the money roll in from all his rental properties. <br /><br />So what's a Tight Fist to do? (And no, I'm not going to suggest living under a cardboard box.) Get in on that action! If you choose carefully, in this market (see: <a href="http://dc.urbanturf.com/articles/blog/a_quick_history_of_mortgage_rates/2741" target="_blank">historically low</a> interest rates) you can get a house that basically pays for itself. The trick is to realize that housing prices are inflated by rich, confused yuppies. The house a Tight-Fister buys has to be filled with things that will freak yuppies out.<br /><span style="float: right;"><table align="center" border="0"><tbody><tr align="left"><td align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9AGPKfwXX-3AVyzUyzZVPj-EvV45oiSgOchx0OKf21F7nukq_-U3m9ENwGHVCRkw3YT5TV_SdEs8ODtDe5zVyrJnEk0Pqes5_QehAN8gWodKRo0NEq9AgVgKryKLeeRVOmzxNJsUWitww/s1600/house3.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9AGPKfwXX-3AVyzUyzZVPj-EvV45oiSgOchx0OKf21F7nukq_-U3m9ENwGHVCRkw3YT5TV_SdEs8ODtDe5zVyrJnEk0Pqes5_QehAN8gWodKRo0NEq9AgVgKryKLeeRVOmzxNJsUWitww/s320/house3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5717382607248569250" /></a></td></tr><tr align="center"><td align="center"><b>Nasty Carpet + Unnecessary Walls = HOTT!</b></td></tr></tbody></table></span><br />What are they? Well first, you need to find a neighborhood where yuppies think they are going to get stabbed. (Hint, look for brown people.) And the kitchen will have no trace of either granite of stainless steel. Because you know what people love overpaying for? Granite! (So much sexier than those other rocks.) Also, find a place with a low bathroom/bedroom ratio. Even though you probably spend 3% of your waking hours in your bathroom, people will pay like 50 grand just to make sure that the other 97% of the time that place is VACANT. Finally, make sure whatever you buy is straight up ugly. The ugly discount is money in the bank.<br /><br />Now you may ask: where the hell do I find the money for a down payment? Well my friends, The Tight Fist was started a bit under three years ago. Had you been following my instructions and living by the code, you would have built up a nest egg by now. And as long as you've got the nest egg, you might as well live in it. No nest egg? Well you'd better start at the <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/05/tightfist-tip-1-get-rid-of-that-gym.html">beginning</a>.The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-76888438818875472252011-02-09T20:53:00.000+00:002011-02-09T22:51:13.541+00:00Tight Fist Tip #45: Do Not Sign Up For Frequent Flier Miles<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi64iBe7FrTlfI1ffH9hJ6kzOteWH3HX_bIIGInkmtecyVd5wUMlZTD_3urAW6Q-ZEniq9D78B5Q8MqyUht3vH356tCJU1FPUmdtNP4bU_iF4UVvpIYBl1dPniMn2XqPLKY1vh7oA_I2Qoi/s1600/freddie.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 257px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi64iBe7FrTlfI1ffH9hJ6kzOteWH3HX_bIIGInkmtecyVd5wUMlZTD_3urAW6Q-ZEniq9D78B5Q8MqyUht3vH356tCJU1FPUmdtNP4bU_iF4UVvpIYBl1dPniMn2XqPLKY1vh7oA_I2Qoi/s320/freddie.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569606551451266818" /></a><br /><b>Your Miles Make Me Rich</b></div><br /><br />You've been waiting for this day for months (or more likely years). You've finally scraped together enough miles to get a free domestic flight, which you lovingly decide to use to go visit your old, sweet grandmother. You get on the phone and try to book a flight for next week. No dice, says the agent, frequent flier seats are not available. What about the following month? Sorry, those dates are blacked out. So you finally book one for a few months later, but by the time you get there GRANDMA IS DEAD! Friendly skies my ass.<br /><br />Frequent flier miles are nothing but a gigantic, manipulative scam. The whole point is to try to to get you to pay more for flights in order to gain 'rewards' that are virtually useless anyway. I'm convinced there are around 1.5 seats on every plane available to buy with miles. Plus flights on or around all holidays are blacked out, so you can't use your miles when you actually need them.<br /><br />While I don't really lose sleep over it, the real purpose of frequent flier programs is to screw over corporations. Unless people are complete morons, they won't spend a lot of extra money to build up miles on their favorite airline...unless it's someone else's money. Business travelers are more than happy to spend their company's money on expensive plane tickets to build up their miles. If I were ever a CEO, the first thing I'd do is ban employee participation in frequent flier programs. Yes, I'd be super popular with the masses.<br /><br />So what should a good Tight Fister do save money on travel? JUST BUY THE CHEAPEST TICKET! Seriously, the differences between airlines are negligible. <br /><br />But if you are super-careful, why not sign up for all the frequent flier programs but still always buy the cheapest ticket? Then just maybe you'll luck into getting a free flight every now and again, right? Exactly. The same way that you are going to be able to just enjoy that crack pipe every now and then, just for fun, only at parties. Trust me, YOU ARE TOO WEAK FOR THIS GAME. Bow out, sucker.The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-62219323450261040752010-12-12T20:50:00.006+00:002010-12-14T09:52:51.654+00:00Tight Fist Tip #44: Get Married...Or Divorced<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0g7aVk4bFuHOjHEXt4T3YuvHsf8RVFjLVboul4Hc9oUwQIJnBmEPt3X2OsiNNYg-r7j81MXcVCE2U6XlrXuKHDspZ7_6Axb0GGLmQoWv8Y46wAqasu0QcCmofJqDpPewBsfguYQ31YBLZ/s1600/money+wedding.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 208px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0g7aVk4bFuHOjHEXt4T3YuvHsf8RVFjLVboul4Hc9oUwQIJnBmEPt3X2OsiNNYg-r7j81MXcVCE2U6XlrXuKHDspZ7_6Axb0GGLmQoWv8Y46wAqasu0QcCmofJqDpPewBsfguYQ31YBLZ/s320/money+wedding.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5549931625504467570" /></a><br /><b>Ok Guys, No Need To Brag</b></div><br /><br />Hey wouldn't it be cool if you could go to the courthouse and fill out some measly paper that would save you hundreds or even thousands of dollars on your tax bills? Well there is, but sneaky tax collectors don't want you to know about it! See, there is this little-known document known as a 'Marriage Certificate' that's pretty cheap to get that is basically a coupon for a big tax deduction. While specific tax rules vary by country, this trick is going to work in all kinds of places that have progressive tax systems. The only catch is that you need a partner to sign up, and in redneck countries (like the US) that partner needs to be of the opposite sex.<br /><br />Why does this crazy 'Marriage Certificate' exist? From what I understand, it has to do with some vestigial concept of love and coupling that was popular in colonial times. I'm not really sure what that's all about, but for some reason it still exists in the tax code for Tight Fisters to take advantage of.<br /><span style="float: right;"><table align="center" border="0"><tbody><tr align="left"><td align="center"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif-xiVet6-qkOZQHU24gDTH8RG0NYrHswEqYW5ndgDUCVkGzxCrU-AcOTZIcxNXRt3oZmMVag5C8xlNmgppqkPbO3nb-KYoZItT0zvYvvE9xLPkX3StUIwrfh5H2qf_lKOszaS1TNER1Vv/s1600/gazeeyes.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 259px; height: 194px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif-xiVet6-qkOZQHU24gDTH8RG0NYrHswEqYW5ndgDUCVkGzxCrU-AcOTZIcxNXRt3oZmMVag5C8xlNmgppqkPbO3nb-KYoZItT0zvYvvE9xLPkX3StUIwrfh5H2qf_lKOszaS1TNER1Vv/s320/gazeeyes.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5549932039612375554" /></a></td></tr><tr align="center"><td align="center"><b>The Art of Deduction</b></td></tr></tbody></table></span><br />Now, this trick isn't going to work for everyone. The reason the tax deduction exists is because when you get married the sum of your income and your partner's income is used to calculate the tax rate. In a progressive tax system (which most countries have), this means you will pay a greater percentage of your income once you are married. To dull this blow married couples get a bigger tax deduction. But if one partner doesn't work or makes very little, getting married will not bump you up a bracket but you will get the higher deduction. Score! So if you are a big earner, find a slacker without a job to marry for the biggest payday. If you are a slacker, find a money maker and agree to split the difference to get some free moola from Uncle Sam.<br /><br />Plus, if you live in a backward country without public health care (like the US), this magical Marriage Certificate allows you to get on your partner's job-sponsored health insurance, which costs way less than buying it yourself. Double score!<br /><br />And what if you make some good money and want to marry someone similarly income-heavy? Well don't, dufus! But fortunately, if you've already made stupid decision, undoing your mistake is super-easy. Again, just hop on down to the courthouse and undo your screw-up (it's called a 'divorce'). See, wasn't that easy? <br /><br />Man, keeping money away from the taxman has never been so easy. But don't blow it all on your wedding, ok?<br /><br />By the way, thanks to Barbara for this tip. Can't wait for your wedding!<br />-----------------------------------------<br />Questions about frugality? The Tight Fist can help. <a href="mailto:thetightfist@googlemail.com">thetightfist@googlemail.com</a>The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-7337591530690452742010-11-01T16:15:00.001+00:002010-11-01T21:33:13.985+00:00Ask The Tight Fist: Buying Flowers For The Ladies<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJSArtL9VtlrINjeLq-EQ2vI_KfmO9G-FJSm6q-nH9_U57t2QkCSAYCEaDkpEWc4garxwV2abH11Y-KkDFNoSKPN9f1zcb2GvP9h_i7Q844h9f1eL2KUCdGeuSK-skBE0rFJNN-lIJ7XOB/s1600/gatherflowers.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 245px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJSArtL9VtlrINjeLq-EQ2vI_KfmO9G-FJSm6q-nH9_U57t2QkCSAYCEaDkpEWc4garxwV2abH11Y-KkDFNoSKPN9f1zcb2GvP9h_i7Q844h9f1eL2KUCdGeuSK-skBE0rFJNN-lIJ7XOB/s320/gatherflowers.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534622527600178578" /></a><br /><b>In The Old Days, Women Were Far More Self Sufficient</b></div><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Dear The Tight Fist,<br /><br />I was on the train today when a man sat down next to me with a load of flowers in his arms. This was not your average dozen roses, this was more flowers then I have ever seen. Seriously, I am not exaggerating, he had an entire tropical ecosystem in his lap!! I could not help but shake my head at the sheer waste of this venture, mentally try to think about whether or not this arrangement cost more then my rent this month, wonder how bad this guy messed up to have to show up with this, and wished you were present to give this guy a harsh tongued scolding at the wastefulness of his actions.<br /><br />Now, I can't say that I am innocent of buying flowers; no man is. Girls are conditioned to want and expect flowers at certain intervals in a relationship. It's just so pointless!! Any thoughts about the pointless gift that is flowers, or other stupid presents we are conditioned to purchase? Any cheap and easy gift ideas that won't get you banished to pas-de-sex-ville?<br /><br />James </span><br />------------------<br /><br />Dear James,<br /><br />This flower craziness is a serious issue that needs to be dealt with. While maybe not as bad as the female's insatiable lust for <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/08/tight-fist-tip-20-dont-buy-diamonds.html" target="_blank">diamonds</a>, flowers are pretty frustrating. You can rationalize all you want about flowers being pointless and just wilting in a day or two, but you have to remember that females are not rational creatures, so trying to use logic is the first step on the way to pas-de-sex-ville. But here are some tips to dull the pain:<br /><span style="float: right;"><table align="center" border="0"><tbody><tr align="left"><td align="center"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiibAbvJ8sMUQv-lC2P770rLP-FkVmyW0TP27KFrczV6blVnTG54Hemxkhe1VSpgW7Vy00njyhrueqK7j_5UOKaiwT6gbAHRrhVctemgSTq9GV5nzGNAx6MdkpVb_x1ZPCVaAe9Hxs34jfL/s1600/flower+funerals.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 220px; height: 168px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiibAbvJ8sMUQv-lC2P770rLP-FkVmyW0TP27KFrczV6blVnTG54Hemxkhe1VSpgW7Vy00njyhrueqK7j_5UOKaiwT6gbAHRrhVctemgSTq9GV5nzGNAx6MdkpVb_x1ZPCVaAe9Hxs34jfL/s320/flower+funerals.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534622976157424482" /></a></td></tr><tr align="center"><td align="center"><b>When giving flowers be sure not <br>to give ones associated with funerals<br>(Actual CNN Caption)</b></td></tr></tbody></table></span><br />1. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Keep the Expectations Away From Material Objects.</span> If your ladyfriend gets jewellery, flowers, etc on early in the relationship, you are then forever screwed. Instead, if you are in a position where you have to give a gift, give a service, like planning a fun day out, <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/06/tight-fist-cooking-guide.html" target="_blank">cooking</a> a nice dinner, or creating a totally creepy romantic homage website (see examples <a href="http://susanismyoneandonly.tripod.com/" target="_blank">here</a>, <a href="http://www.angelfire.com/co4/ily/">here</a>, and <a href="http://samanthamylove.page.tl/" target="_blank">here</a>.) If your lady is worth a scratch she will appreciate these things more anyway. <br /><br />2. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Never Buy Roses on Valentines Day.</span> Anyone who has ever made the foolish decision to buy roses on or around Valentines day knows the horror of Valentine's Day price gouging. If you think that simply ignoring flowers on V-Day is going to cause you serious pain, try this idea. Surprise your significant other with roses (and whatever other romantic crap you were planning) a week early. Not only will you benefit from the cheaper prices, but you get bonus points for surprise!<br /><br />3. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Never Buy From The Florist.</span> As mentioned in an <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/06/tight-fist-tip-11-dont-shop-at-stores.html" target="_blank">earlier post</a>, it is never a good idea to buy at stores that sell only one type of thing, and florists are really the worst. Remember, if you tell him "just make me a nice bouquet", he will hear, "make me a bouquet that will put your daughter through college". At most decent supermarkets you can get nice bouquets for just a few bucks. Or even better... <br /> <br />4. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Just Go Foraging.</span> Dude, flowers totally grow out of the ground. Just roll up to your local meadow (or the yard of that creepy old lady down the street) and you can have a killer bouquet in no time.<br /><br />--------------<br />Questions about frugality? Ask The Tight Fist at thetightfist@googlemail.comThe Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-44229579164045603262010-10-03T21:04:00.006+01:002010-10-28T15:43:14.838+01:00Dating Tips For The Guys<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmOinG2fTaJscS2Oqz1GgbWjhXk6eVETTwBRB7N4Q4-OxPK-IGMgNPz1RGarIbM0FRnb-1pHw0w6xK7X-S7HvRc1MGbfmGyXH8W71y2dgV5OSNEHJZq-MVgF73E4vKr47Xqij_DN7b_AX4/s1600/boyfirstdate.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 186px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmOinG2fTaJscS2Oqz1GgbWjhXk6eVETTwBRB7N4Q4-OxPK-IGMgNPz1RGarIbM0FRnb-1pHw0w6xK7X-S7HvRc1MGbfmGyXH8W71y2dgV5OSNEHJZq-MVgF73E4vKr47Xqij_DN7b_AX4/s320/boyfirstdate.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533104461048524130" /></a><br /><b>Might As Well Be Honest</b></div><br />There are many strong men among us who usually dutifully follow the code of Tight Fisting, but have a painful Achilles Heel when it comes to the fairer sex. You may be happy to <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/06/tight-fist-cooking-guide.html" target="_blank">cook rice</a> and <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/06/tight-fist-tip-8-get-bicycle.html" target="_blank">ride a bike</a> for yourself, but as soon as a tall, curvy seductress comes in the picture you're booking the <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2010/05/tight-fist-tip-39-never-take-taxi.html" target="_blank">taxi</a> to the Michelin restaurant. Shame on you! Every good Tight Fister knows that you don't have to spend money to impress the opposite sex, and that doing so will only bring you sorrow.<br /><br />Remember this: if you start buying things for a girl at the beginning of a relationship she will start to expect them, and you are forever screwed. And the second you stop you're going to confront those dreaded words that no man wants to hear: "Is something wrong?"<br /><br />Here are some specific tips on how to date Tight Fist style.<br /><br />1. <span style="font-weight:bold;">First Date, Cheap Restaurant.</span>: One a first date, never go to a fancy restaurant. This is important because the girl needs to know from step one that you're not going to be buying her fancy dinners every Saturday night. Since it's the first date social conventions may force you to foot the bill, so no point in blowing the bank on a girl you barely know. And don't even think about taking her to the cinema. Why the hell should you pay twenty quid to sit in the dark and not talk?<br /><span style="float: right;"><table align="center" border="0"><tbody><tr align="left"><td align="center"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaKrk7vL2pllPtzdgd9ZWFFCLvpsLZTlYkgV7AsQL2PR1aQ76T0OGrdteabsLdzHDgsTnMWC-rsc6vcWiXOguaI9RqbphGYXUibI_FRiigGVUg6cjh2SUZf-fvM4E1mbFTG-8SzAnWt_OX/s1600/mcdate.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 197px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaKrk7vL2pllPtzdgd9ZWFFCLvpsLZTlYkgV7AsQL2PR1aQ76T0OGrdteabsLdzHDgsTnMWC-rsc6vcWiXOguaI9RqbphGYXUibI_FRiigGVUg6cjh2SUZf-fvM4E1mbFTG-8SzAnWt_OX/s320/mcdate.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533105207938563202" /></a></td></tr><tr align="center"><td align="center"><b>If She Can't Appreciate the Golden Arches on a <br>First Date, She Doesn't Deserve a Second One</b></td></tr></tbody></table></span>2. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Split the check.</span>: Sure, on a first date the man is expected to offer to pay the bill. But if your date doesn't offer to split it, alarm bells should go off. She gets one more chance: if she pulls a classy move and picks up the check on the second date, she's off the hook. Otherwise, just stop calling. She knows why.<br />3. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Don't Buy Her Jewlery.</span> The last signal you want to give any girl is that you support spending lots of money on completely useless things. Next thing you know she's going to want a <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/09/tight-fist-tip-22-useless-kitchen.html" target="_blank">honey dipper</a>.<br />4. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Never Buy A Random Girl Drinks.</span> Under no circumstances should you ever buy a drink for a girl you don't know in an attempt to get in their pants. The strategy is foolish, money-wasting, and unlikely to succeed. And even worse, it just rewards devilishly deviant gold-digging behavior. <br /><br />But what if you follow these rules above and get dumped? That's great! Because then you have successfully exposed your lame girlfriend as a money-grubbing bitch, and the sooner you find that out the better. If you find a girl who is cool with your frugal ways, you're saved yourself loads of misery.<br /><br />Another great advantage of these strategies is that if every now and then you can break your rules and buy your girl a little something nice, she will go absolutely crazy. Yup, instant good will was never so easy.<br />-------------------<br />This was supposed to be my third column for The London Student, but it looks as if the powers of mindless political correctness have killed the column for the time being. Thanks to the editors of The London Student for fighting the good fight, but it looks like they have lost. But don't worry, the site will go on. Questions? thetightfist@googlemail.com.<br /><br />Stay tuned for the next article, where I'll follow up with some more specific advice about another vice: flowers.The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-43610730628742861862010-09-15T19:08:00.007+01:002010-09-26T23:42:14.805+01:00The Tight Fist Guide to Buying TextbooksThis article was supposed to appear in the September 27th edition of The London Student. But thanks to some ridiculous phony 'outrage' to my <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2010/08/guide-to-partying-on-cheap.html" target="_blank">last post</a> by <a href="mailto:president@ulu.lon.ac.uk">certain</a> powerful members of student government it has been censored and replaced by a stupid editorial apology. Yawn. Maybe we'll be back next issue. <br />------------------------<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQOkP7fc2aqi1XW8MYh_CNOp0dvkH33yOyw05LH5WH2n_Ymtk7A3niEtiyu2_e0wBT-I2QjpCF7MxWQevKLPK19eUlL7wbOylks9DO6Jcc0JYTlRStaLdAt4Gw47kB5zyljtWWwNxrq8Hf/s1600/bookscrush.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQOkP7fc2aqi1XW8MYh_CNOp0dvkH33yOyw05LH5WH2n_Ymtk7A3niEtiyu2_e0wBT-I2QjpCF7MxWQevKLPK19eUlL7wbOylks9DO6Jcc0JYTlRStaLdAt4Gw47kB5zyljtWWwNxrq8Hf/s320/bookscrush.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521324357891334370" /></a><br><b>I need a Kindle!</b></div><br /><br />One of the coldest shocks that most first-year students experience when coming to universities is the outrageous price of textbooks. "I've bought books before, this won't be too bad" you say, before keeling over in horror at the outrageous prices at the campus bookstore. But fear not, young student, because with a bit of wisdom you can beat the system and actually have money left over for late night kebabs.<br /><br />The first question to ask is: do you really need the book? Tons of professors list a textbook as 'required' for their classes, but then go on to not really use it. As a former class teacher, I can't tell you how many times clueless students would come to me in office hours and complain that they "read the entire book but can't do the assignments". Well moron, if you had gone to any lectures you would have realized that the professor wasn't following the book at all. For lots of classes you can skip the book, share one copy with friends, or just pick it up from the library when you need it. But sometimes you'll decide that you really need the book.<br /><br />There are some things that you want to buy new. These are things that you plan to have a long time and will only wear out if you buy them used. Think trainers, a fancy TV, or brake pads. But something tells me that 10 years down the line you aren't going to be cherishing that nice copy of 'Intermediate Statistics'. No, most likely you're going to try to sell it the second the course is over, provided you can resist the urge to erase it from your memory through ritual burning.<br /><br />With this in mind, the last thing you should ever do is take a stroll to your university bookstore. These bastards will generally peddle shiny new textbooks at off-the charts prices, making you think that there is no other alternative available. But there is! Let me introduce you to an amazing technology called The Internet. And there there is more to it than status updates and blurry porn. It sells books too!<br /><br />Unquestionably, the best place to get your textbooks is Ebay or Amazon (through its second hand marketplace). But just heading over to these sites is not enough. To get the real textbook deals you have to think like a textbook maker and subvert their shady con of unnecessary editions.<br /><br />How much do you think the world of basic calculus has changed over the last hundred years? I'll give you a hint: not at all. So why have there been 10 new editions of your favorite calculus text in the last 20 years? Putting out new editions is the way that textbook publishers try to quell the used book market so as to screw over students to their utmost. <br /><br />Professors will always put the latest edition of their favorite textbook as the 'required' text for their class. At the same time, bookstores will stop selling (and buying back) all previous editions, as they assume there will be no demand. Sellers turn to the internet, offering ridiculously low prices. But the key is that in most cases, there is hardly any difference between the editions! Maybe they've reorganized the chapters and added a couple of color graphs, but don't be fooled: calculus (or pretty much any other subject) hasn't changed.<br /><br />The key is to go on Amazon or Ebay and look for previous editions of your required textbooks. For instance, anyone taking introductory economics in London is likely to get stuck reading 'Economics' by Lipsey and Chrystal. You can waste your money on the 11th edition going at £39 at Ebay, or you can instead pay £10 for the 10th edition. <br /><br />Then you'll have plenty of time to sit back and smugly laugh at all those suckers who spent all their beer money just to get that 'new book' smell.<br />------------------------------<br />Questions about frugality? The Tight Fist can help: thetightfist@googlemail.comThe Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-13390056533511175932010-09-12T04:56:00.000+01:002010-09-13T03:40:59.838+01:00A Guide To Partying on The CheapNew to The Tight Fist? Check out the <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/p/introduction-to-tight-fist.html">Introduction</a> to learn more about the site and see some highlights. Also, be sure to follow The Tight Fist on Facebook and Twitter by following the links to your right.<br /><br />Note: This Post Appeared in the September 13, 2010 issue of <br /><span style="font-style:italic;">The London Student</span><br />------------------------------------<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg4o5roMUVTZ_66QNZuaslmrkT7UloSeMrv4V3j2M39cKU_Mo60gkQ2pk210CcrqdzWhfWGt4LvwC2apTecXpCGkzTrFk3O_uK9xPDDY38HBRHL09mWvSjVeYiXC-2-pRA67wCKEsvoVJc/s1600/bar_illus.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 261px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg4o5roMUVTZ_66QNZuaslmrkT7UloSeMrv4V3j2M39cKU_Mo60gkQ2pk210CcrqdzWhfWGt4LvwC2apTecXpCGkzTrFk3O_uK9xPDDY38HBRHL09mWvSjVeYiXC-2-pRA67wCKEsvoVJc/s320/bar_illus.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5516218181523330002" /></a><br /></div><br />Do you spend too much money? Fortunately, Jews such as myself possess tried and true penny-pinching strategies that have been handed down through the generations. I, The Tight Fist, have taken it upon myself to share my secrets of frugality. <br /><br />For many of you out there, it's your first week of university- a great time to make new friends, choose your classes, and start expanding your mind. Wait, who am I kidding? We all know you're just going to spend your first few weeks wasting away your new-found freedom in one long drunken stupor. <br /><br />But unless daddy's got deep pockets (and let's be honest, if daddy really had deep pockets he would have wrangled you a way into Oxbridge), this entry-to-university binge can be pretty damaging on the wallets. Isn't there some way to party yourself silly and still have money left over to buy underwear and instant noodles?<br /><br />Now is the point where you think I'm going to endorse some of London's many "cheap" student nights at local clubs. Sure, if you going to go out you might as well do it at one of these places, since the prices are usually a bit better than the normal wallet-sucking prices you'd see in a Central London club. (I'd say the £1.50 pints at Sports Cafe on Tuesdays is about the best deal I've seen.) But even if going to some cheap pub, you must follow this golden rule: NEVER GO OUT SOBER. Because no matter what kind of student deal is on, it will always be crushed by your local friendly Tesco. <br /><br />The trick is to buy some cheap supermarket booze and get as wasted as possible at home (or on the street if you don't mind looking like a hobo.) Then when you hit the bars, you're already toasted and can just nurse one pint all night long. But don't get too pissed, because passing out on the couch will never get you laid. Let's just hope that <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1302648/Supermarket-booze-offers-blame-Wild-West-town-centres-says-Cameron.html">sneaky David Cameron</a> does not get his way with implementing his ban on cut-rate supermarket alcohol. How about we all revolt if that happens, ok?<br /><br />Has anyone ever told you not to drink on an empty stomach? THAT PERSON WAS A LYING IDIOT WHO WANTS YOU TO DIE POOR. In fact, you should ONLY drink on an empty stomach. The logic is very clear: you want to get a bit tipsy, eating food means it takes more alcohol to get there, so eating simply costs you money. So next time you are thinking of getting a bite to eat before hitting the pub, just realize that you are flushing money down the toilet. Plus since booze has plenty of calories, skipping dinner prevents you from getting even fatter.<br /><br />But what about those tiny people who would get drunk off two sips on an empty stomach, shouldn't they eat? NO! These people are the luckiest people on earth, and should not waste their wonderful circumstance. Instead, they should get together in a group, buy one frilly cocktail and all get wasted for pennies! Lucky bastards!<br /><br />And for the really hard-core Tight-Fisters out there? Try donating blood before a night on the town! Besides being a good public citizen, you will also get pissed for super-cheap!<br /><br />So there you go, now you can all go get wasted and still have plenty of money for other slightly less important things like food and shelter. Stay tuned for next issue, where we'll talk about how to tackle the bane of any frugal student's existence: buying textbooks.<br /><br />-------------------------------<br />Read much more at http://www.thetightfist.com<br />Want The Tight Fist to answer your questions? Email thetightfist@googlemail.comThe Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-89388900628709981532010-08-24T18:01:00.002+01:002010-08-25T21:48:31.893+01:00Tight Fist Tip #43: A Cheap iPhone in 3 Easy Steps<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqU7J2KrEi7zLaiZ3S2sKw5sTew64ENSMCGqVci0O8uyIp0NFc9EA1u5k8JpTGK91OPx-dwu-rF6oUsnk3ZDcWuG5nlntqcD9rN67-xIJ5HmXOgzZMOS_90R1PYMY-9Rk7Uy_lX3tQ-xYr/s1600/iphone3.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 325px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqU7J2KrEi7zLaiZ3S2sKw5sTew64ENSMCGqVci0O8uyIp0NFc9EA1u5k8JpTGK91OPx-dwu-rF6oUsnk3ZDcWuG5nlntqcD9rN67-xIJ5HmXOgzZMOS_90R1PYMY-9Rk7Uy_lX3tQ-xYr/s400/iphone3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5509016877669135794" /></a><br /><b>I Just Can't Get Enough Of This 'Tastes Like Fried Chicken' App</b></div><br /><br />Man, it just seems like everyone who is anyone is carrying around a shiny new iPhone these days. All of us luddite dumb-phone owners can't shake the feeling of inferiority whenever all our friends are cooing over the latest Instant Orgasm app. In moments of weakness, we may even consider joining the club. While official Tight Fist advice still maintains that you should always buy the cheapest phone possible, if you are going to purchase a shiny smart phone, at least do it the right way. Here is the Tight Fist approved strategy for owning an iPhone (or other smartphone of your choice.)<br /><br />1. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Buy A Used iPhone</span>: Did you catch a glimpse of the hordes of Apple zombies who waited in line for the new iPhone 4? Anyone want to fancy a guess at the percentage of those people who were buying their first iPhone? I haven't done any primary research, but I'm pretty sure then number is somewhere near zero. All these Apple maniacs probably lined up for the first iPhone, the 2G, the 3G, etc. Any what the heck are they going to do with these old iPhones? That's right, they sell them to people like me. The iPhone 3G was pretty damn nifty when it came out, and guess what: it still is. But now it's hundreds of dollars cheaper. Just ask around on eBay, Craigslist, Amazon, etc. Easy peasy.<br /><span style="float: right;"><table align="center" border="0"><tbody><tr align="left"><td align="center"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsuz_PXz54h3L6MqY-zqL2BFu1LdGDnw0WA6wtG6ZxZ6MJqoA7KlKxkbVWmivWA0RhpP0Sma8Rkb2IMYNmVHqvB_e3sdvgDc9WlLGg9dd26a9eP5hCvk1b2ylCdWKVB0U62qghRJCY0Mt5/s1600/iphone4.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsuz_PXz54h3L6MqY-zqL2BFu1LdGDnw0WA6wtG6ZxZ6MJqoA7KlKxkbVWmivWA0RhpP0Sma8Rkb2IMYNmVHqvB_e3sdvgDc9WlLGg9dd26a9eP5hCvk1b2ylCdWKVB0U62qghRJCY0Mt5/s320/iphone4.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5509024303078715682" /></a></td></tr><tr align="center"><td align="center"><b>New Boyfriend?<br>There's An App For That</b></td></tr></tbody></table></span><br /><br />2. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Unlock the iPhone</span>: Having a cheap iPhone is just one piece of the puzzle, since most of the costs come from those crazy multi-year data-required contracts. Therefore, you need to untether yourself from whatever phone company Apple has decided should hold the monopoly in your area. Unlocking an iPhone is pretty straightforward, and since you just bought a used phone you don't have to worry about invalidating your warranty. There are tons of tools to do this- you can look around on Google, and with a bit of perseverance you should be able to get it done. If you're not the technical minded type you can pay someone to do it for you, but make sure not to get ripped off. I'd recommend heading to a shady cell phone store in Chinatown (or some similar place) and haggling like crazy. Remember, with their software it will take them about 7 seconds to unlock the phone, so you should pay accordingly. If you don't live in a place with immigrant neighborhoods where you can find shady cell phone stores, save this step for your next trip to the big city. Or just move.<br /><br />3. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Buy a Cheap Pay-As-You-Go (Prepaid) SIM</span>: Once your shiny phone is unlocked, you can now shop around for a cheap prepaid phone plan. Since you already have a phone, you just need to buy a SIM card for any GSM carrier and pop it into the iPhone. Here in the US I grabbed one from H20 Wireless that charges 6 cents a minute for calls and 2 cents per text. (I've even heard that you can use H20 Wireless without unlocking your iPhone since it runs on the AT&T network.) But you'll have to shop around depending on your country of residence. The best part is that now if you travel you can always just pop in a cheap SIM from whatever country you're in and your iPhone will be good to go without crazy roaming charges.<br /><br />The astute among you may have noticed that this scheme does not allow you to use your iPhone to surf the internet over the cell network. That is because it is just not worth a billion dollars a month just to check what's number one on Reddit or prove to your drunk buddies that the dude on Cougar Town tonight really was Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. You can definitely settle that important argument via email at a later date. However, for the internet addicted, you can still use the above strategy and then just use the cheapest data plan you can find. (Pretty good comparison of US data plans <a href="http://www.phonedog.com/2010/02/05/smart-shopping-whose-smartphone-plans-are-cheapest/">here</a>.) <br /><br />In fact, I'm convinced there must be a way to justify getting a data plan if you can figure out some non-Apple-approved way to make all your calls over VOIP. And also you could use the iPhone as an internet connection for your laptop when on the move. When I get all that figured out, you will all be the first to know.The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-36858576413390930752010-08-07T21:18:00.007+01:002010-08-18T21:01:38.431+01:00Ask The Tight Fist: Making Money without Working<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwS5JWJiX7A5v-I5CZl9ikrKEmtzSiicOoZt-a76f14752v_EdgfAkK9WHI_KmT8JJa1bITofE6y8nRmmF2aMJKyuQUhjLzApjXBRdK9ETtQ52-Awu5FxXinesRXf-RFBGC858neJ6ZvZL/s1600/lazybeggar.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwS5JWJiX7A5v-I5CZl9ikrKEmtzSiicOoZt-a76f14752v_EdgfAkK9WHI_KmT8JJa1bITofE6y8nRmmF2aMJKyuQUhjLzApjXBRdK9ETtQ52-Awu5FxXinesRXf-RFBGC858neJ6ZvZL/s400/lazybeggar.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5506588812488973506" /></a><br /><b>This Works, But I Think There Are Better Ways</b></div><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Dear The Tight Fist,<br /><br />You talk a lot about how to prevent spending money. I was wondering if you have any ideas or tips on ways to make money - or into the process of career planning.<br /><br />Le Piano Man</span><br /><br />Dear Le Piano Man,<br /><br />Making money? That's pretty easy isn't it?<br /><br />1. Go to college and join the richest frat that will let you in<br />2. Get a suit and work for the uncle of one of your stupid 'bros'<br />3. Get an MBA because you don't know what else to do<br />4. Find some other crappy job to pay off your useless MBA<br />5. Mid-life crisis<br /><br />Easy, right? Oh wait, did you want to both make money AND have your life not suck? Well, you should been more specific. The great thing about being a Tight Fist is that you really don't need much money, so you don't have to suckify your life by becoming a corporate whore. (Unless, you know, you're into that kinda thing.) One thing you could do is get a cool job that you actually like, but plenty people "accomplish" this through pure delusion. ("Dude, Junior Assistant Managers get all the chicks!") Much better would be getting paid to not work at all. It's hard to get paid a lot to do no work, but it's surprisingly easy to get paid a little and that's all a Tight Fist needs. Here are some ideas:<br /><span style="float: right;"><table align="center" border="0"><tbody><tr align="left"><td align="center"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxWiSacbuLQhSEvDyPjsDYapwdhjlxpdx3OjsrpWqTWxjGl5YrVDs4Wieh6q4ISYxBgP6S9q8u3eNWyemvghLpPGCj54S7Yn12u8-s03a8Nmpp9QaYbOn0JPD3o14kxVSM-42hC1hlq7OR/s1600/martin_trading.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 188px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxWiSacbuLQhSEvDyPjsDYapwdhjlxpdx3OjsrpWqTWxjGl5YrVDs4Wieh6q4ISYxBgP6S9q8u3eNWyemvghLpPGCj54S7Yn12u8-s03a8Nmpp9QaYbOn0JPD3o14kxVSM-42hC1hlq7OR/s400/martin_trading.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5506589289799380322" /></a></td></tr><tr align="center"><td align="center"><b>Soy! Soy! Soy!</b></td></tr></tbody></table></span><br />1. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Medical Guinea Pig</span>: All you have to do is pop some pills and you get paid. What a great deal! But you should try to get involved in a late stage clinical trial. Because otherwise you might end up like the <a href="http://health.dailynewscentral.com/content/view/2164/63">Elephant Man</a><br />2. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Sell bodily fluids</span>: There is great money to be made selling your zygotes. Way easier (and more fun!) for the guys, but more lucrative for the ladies (especially those with <a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2249098">high SAT scores</a>). You can also sell plasma and platelets for about $50 buck a pop. This trick is beloved by hobos everywhere.<br />3. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Investing</span>: If you know what you're doing, you can take a little bit of money and turn it into a lot of money through sound investments. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure how this works, but I'm pretty sure you just have to grab a bunch of papers and run around the trading floor yelling "SOY! SOY! SOY!" Or something like that.<br />4. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Get stuff for Free and Sell it</span>: You can find tons of free stuff available for pickup on Craigslist from people who are too lazy to sell it themselves. Get this stuff and sell it on Amazon/Ebay = Easy money.<br />5. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Grad school scholarships</span>: Finally, we get to a subject that The Tight Fist knows perfectly well. I don't understand why people work crappy jobs or, god forbid, pay a ton of money to go to school when there are people out there who will pay you to go to school. If you decide to do a Phd in any moderately useful subject, odds are you can find some source of money to pay your way. And once you've got that, you're taken care of for years! People in the 'real world' always make fun of old PhD students who never graduate, but they don't realize that these guys are living the dream. Take that, working stiffs!<br /><br />Remember, adhering to the rules of The Tight Fist makes it easy to have plenty of money, since you need so little of it. Man, life is sweet.<br />----------------------<br />Questions about Frugality? Ask The Tight Fist: thetightfist@googlemail.comThe Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-21381723758400304432010-08-07T20:40:00.003+01:002010-08-07T21:10:55.348+01:00Epic Feats of Frugality: Fish Fillet Millionaire<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrcXn3MLrEddI081be6SWaNxJZzbpGaUmh7slj22ZGSBchP0yrwZyMLejPnDh9Ex-HBJMfp5A5DmWQ1KXHTK2GZ08zDAQCwR4Ww6V583SE1ioohl5lQF6jgBDr3EuRFlpG6C3YOR0KdXRU/s1600/Verna_Oller.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrcXn3MLrEddI081be6SWaNxJZzbpGaUmh7slj22ZGSBchP0yrwZyMLejPnDh9Ex-HBJMfp5A5DmWQ1KXHTK2GZ08zDAQCwR4Ww6V583SE1ioohl5lQF6jgBDr3EuRFlpG6C3YOR0KdXRU/s400/Verna_Oller.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5502761621443937570" /></a><br /><b>Tight Fist Legend</b></div><br />Want to become a millionaire? Conventional wisdom says you'll have to be a rock star, sell lots of drugs, or (shudder) work long hours in a suit to achieve this goal. But no, you can be an ordinary working stiff and save millions with pure Tight Fisting. Today our inspiration comes from Verna Oller a Tight Fist extraordinaire from the American heartland who worked an hourly job filleting fish her whole life yet managed so save 4.5 million. (Ok, it also helps the she was a savvy investor.) <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/WN/american-heart-secret-millionaire-helps-hometown-grave/story?id=10870876">Here</a> is the story from ABC.<br /><br />I don't really have much to add to the story, but let me call your attention to a few key points:<ul><br /><li>Verna never went to a hairdresser- she always cut her own hair. (Maybe she read <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/07/tight-fist-tip-19-haircuts.html">Tight Fist Tip #19</a>)<br /><li>She did all her clothes shopping at thrift stores. (<a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/10/tight-fist-tip-29-shop-at-real-thrift.html">Tight Fist Tip #29</a>)<br /><li>When her shoelaces broke, she replaced them with a zipper from an old coat.<br /><li>She cut her own firewood until she was 90.<br /><li>Although Verna was making millions trading stocks, she read the day-old newspaper from her neighbor since she didn't want to pay for her own subscription.<br /></ul>What a legend! Verna Ollie, on behalf of all Tight Fisters around the world, I salute you. You are a true inspiration.The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-69672506259177333392010-07-28T23:06:00.008+01:002010-07-29T04:12:47.546+01:00Tight Fist Tip #42: 5 Activities Destroyed By Suits With Expense Accounts<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMPFKiI0ECKvixC2mSM6Jfk6O5XZHSwCan_uBPHMaju71GMI7N1QsPIjJi_CMCNFTN-nF8A3s0ssQ-uAK2zUvlakgCBWByeAryBDnrGMLV6I39gTlSE8Wxn999SVgkyafByaaM_C8A7GQS/s1600/corporate+card.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 220px; height: 330px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMPFKiI0ECKvixC2mSM6Jfk6O5XZHSwCan_uBPHMaju71GMI7N1QsPIjJi_CMCNFTN-nF8A3s0ssQ-uAK2zUvlakgCBWByeAryBDnrGMLV6I39gTlSE8Wxn999SVgkyafByaaM_C8A7GQS/s400/corporate+card.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499133817803464498" /></a><br /><b>Public Enemy #1</b></div><br /><br />Damn Suits seem to be everywhere these days. In London, they basically own the place, driving up the prices of bars, cafes, and restaurants for a wide radius outside their lair, the City of London. But worst are the Suits who love to jump on planes and ruin things for people in other cities. They flaunt their corporate credit cards without regard for prices, making certain items unaffordable for the rest of us. As a dedicated Tight Fist, you must learn to recognize these items and avoid them at all cost. Here are some examples:<br /><br />1. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Airport Food</span> - With the long trip to the airport and the prospect of a long foodless flight, your time at the airport should be a great opportunity to get a snack and maybe even a beer. But why should airport restaurants serve food for the masses when instead they can defraud corporations of millions via expense accounts? The other day in the Toronto airport I saw a measly piece of 80% water ham stuck in between Wonder Bread for 11 bucks. Highway robbery! Note that certain chains buck this trend and charge standard prices at the airport. Shout out to Pret, Eat, and Boots (all in the UK) for not reaming their customers! <br /><br />2. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Hotel Bars and Restaurants</span>: If you arrive late at night in a new city, sometimes the easiest place to eat is a local hotel as their restaurants are open late. But be careful! Have a close look: Are there any Suits? If so, run away! Any hotel that caters to business travelers is going to bump up those prices for the expense accounts. Remember, Suits LOVE to drink at the hotel because they can just add the drinks to the hotel bill and expense away. <br /><span style="float: right;"><table align="center" border="0"><tbody><tr align="left"><td align="center"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhroLtTz887KKA69LdcsXIU29ZhAgRMte7rpH_PX7j5lb6tFrAE2YrMz_kBrG17E96ugOkfde7EiC4PX7V-5T514zat7DXlTCM7xeGwtoWgvCPJrborIt1R6c-iBvSlV9MaXNPxH9pJ_qez/s1600/hotelphone.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 264px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhroLtTz887KKA69LdcsXIU29ZhAgRMte7rpH_PX7j5lb6tFrAE2YrMz_kBrG17E96ugOkfde7EiC4PX7V-5T514zat7DXlTCM7xeGwtoWgvCPJrborIt1R6c-iBvSlV9MaXNPxH9pJ_qez/s400/hotelphone.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499134839232831362" /></a></td></tr><tr align="center"><td align="center"><b>And This Is Why Dad Had to Sell A Kidney</b></td></tr></tbody></table></span><br />3. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Airport Internet</span> - There are certain times when it would be really useful to have internet. Like if you're flying to a new city and you need to figure out how to get to your hostel or maybe your flight has been delayed and you need to alert a friend. And isn't it great that now most airports have WiFi? Just load up the page, connect, and WHAT!?!? 10 BUCKS FOR ONE HOUR! HOLY CRAP! That's right, what could be an extremely useful service is ruined again by the Suits. Quick shout out to Dubai airport for having free Wifi- the last of a dying breed.<br /><br />4. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Taxis</span> - Thanks to Suits, these motor armies crowd the street and cause havoc for <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/06/tight-fist-tip-8-get-bicycle.html">cyclists</a>, yet are too expensive for normal people. You might as well just read my <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2010/05/tight-fist-tip-39-never-take-taxi.html">full post</a> about stupid taxis.<br /><br />5. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Cell Phone International Roaming</span> - As any good Tight Fist knows, you have to turn off your cell phone (or find a local SIM) as soon as you leave your country. But why does it have to be this way? Surely cell phone carriers could charge a reasonable rate such that normal people would use their phones abroad, thereby increasing their profits. So why don't they? You know, I don't think it takes a genius to figure this one out. IT'S THE SUITS! Since the company pays for the cell phone, they could care less about the roaming charges, making it more profitable for the companies to keep the rates high.<br /><br />6. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Hotels and Airport Express Trains</span>: Yes I know I said there were only five, but hotels in general and all things that hotels sell also fall into this category. (Read my previous post about hotels <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/09/tight-fist-tip-24-ditch-fancy-hotels.html">here</a>.) Ditto with <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2010/07/tight-fist-tip-41-airport-express.html">Airport Express Trains</a>.<br /><br />Damn Suits.<br /><br />----------------------------------<br />Have questions about frugality? Email The Tight Fist: thetightfist@googlemail.comThe Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-50000707269103556862010-07-14T21:18:00.007+01:002010-07-16T13:35:03.515+01:00Tight Fist Tip #41: Airport Express Trains are for Suckers<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikw34G-Pcz9CVxq8JGx1Ebi-N1EmBQ8mBwNXqseFdnj6fSTeWjyD3pREDfj9aXKTHxxy0iv5SGjH8edFgJYGQi0i28oEw6qNuc__nN7tnSoAiFszd3MJBrIHe59jWz2OxT4a6bUXhFg971/s1600/heathrowexpress.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 307px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikw34G-Pcz9CVxq8JGx1Ebi-N1EmBQ8mBwNXqseFdnj6fSTeWjyD3pREDfj9aXKTHxxy0iv5SGjH8edFgJYGQi0i28oEw6qNuc__nN7tnSoAiFszd3MJBrIHe59jWz2OxT4a6bUXhFg971/s400/heathrowexpress.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493885433858778482" /></a><br /><b>Welcome Aboard the Train for Idiots!</b></div><br /><br />It's been a long plane ride. And to make matters worse, you picked the slowest line at immigration and your baggage was the last to come off the belt. All you want to do is get to your place of residence (that is certainly not a <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/09/tight-fist-tip-24-ditch-fancy-hotels.html">hotel</a>). Like a recovering alcoholic in the liquor aisle, you gaze longingly at the <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2010/05/tight-fist-tip-39-never-take-taxi.html">taxi</a> queue, but you know it would just make you feel bad about yourself in the morning.<br /><br />Then suddenly you see a shining beacon of light: "Airport Express: Fastest Way to Downtown!" That has to be perfect- A train must be cheap, right? WRONG! Here, let me translate for you: "Airport Express: The Train for Business Travelers Who Don't Give A Crap Because They're Traveling On The Expense Account."<br /><br />It is seriously amoral the way airports advertise their stupid express trains or buses or whatever. You can't get out of Heathrow without seeing a thousand signs begging you to take the stupid Heathrow Express, advertising how it is '15 Minutes to Central London'. What the stupid signs don't tell you is that this train costs 18 freaking pounds, and you could instead take the normal train for a third of a price and it only takes 10 extra minutes. Or you could just take the subway for a fifth of the price and as a bonus you don't end up in crappy Paddington. Note that the same applies for the stupid Gatwick Express as well. THESE TRAINS ARE ONLY FOR SUITS AND SUCKERS!!!<br /><br />It's not just London and it's not even just buses. I was just in Prague, where they try to convince you to take the 'Express' bus even though the normal bus follows the same route, has only three stops, and costs half as much! In Copenhagen, you can take a normal bus instead of the stupid 'Express' train for again, a third of the price.<br /><br />Remember, no matter where you are, locals and employees also have to get to the airport so there has be been some type of affordable option for them. Unless, of course, you are in a city where everyone drives. In this case you are probably screwed.<br /><br />This is one example of an extremely important tenant of Tight Fist thought. There are whole product categories are priced exorbitantly due to the free-spending of mindless suits with expense accounts. Normal people should never buy these things, which will be the topic of the next post.The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-64817115933581697532010-06-24T22:17:00.004+01:002010-06-25T15:38:11.353+01:00Tight Fist Tip #40: Find Voucher Codes<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5mf7Wk0DIDJOepcuNbMsOd5XfonWLjwRmoqDI_pwuQ4ZWlMXqJGh9yyZsWJoScdovJo-p7FSEqFJ83319iFanZyd6ucISgolqOf4GDlumGoD6LG6VOr_d-tLrCLuud3zUgOuexeabbq4E/s1600/happycomp.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5mf7Wk0DIDJOepcuNbMsOd5XfonWLjwRmoqDI_pwuQ4ZWlMXqJGh9yyZsWJoScdovJo-p7FSEqFJ83319iFanZyd6ucISgolqOf4GDlumGoD6LG6VOr_d-tLrCLuud3zUgOuexeabbq4E/s400/happycomp.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486482304178383522" /></a><br /><b>15% off White Paint!</b></div><br /><br />Any good Tight Fister knows that the only acceptable place to buy stuff is <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2010/02/tight-fist-tip-34-ebay-and-amazon-rule.html">online</a>. And we all know that if you are going to buy something anyway, it's awesome if you get a discount.<br /><br />Normally, discounts can be quite <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/07/tight-fist-tip-18-sales-and-promotions.html" target='_new'>dangerous</a>, as they can influence the weak among us to buying stupid crap that we don't really need. Optimally, what would happen is that you would choose things that you needed to buy, and would then see if there are any discounts available. In the old days though, that was pretty tough; a store would have to be pretty idiotic to offer discounts once you had already decided to buy some stuff. What's a Tight Fisted shopper to do?<br /><br />Once again, the internet rides to the rescue! As much as they try, crafty stores cannot keep coupons far away from the checkout in the wonderful world of the internet. Instead, they rely on the fact that most shoppers are COMPLETE MORONS, and therefore will not think to take seven seconds out of their day to Google and see if there is a voucher code available. <br /><br />Kids, the prescription is simple. Whenever you are purchasing anything online, please just take 10 seconds out of your busy day to google "-name of store- voucher code". Odds are you'll save a cool 10% or more. Just yesterday, I got 50% off a pizza. Sweeeeet.The Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-66699462188568742712010-06-14T16:40:00.001+01:002010-06-14T18:08:31.167+01:00Ask The Tight Fist: What to Do With A Vain, Messy Housemate<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs58Z1oBQEiQLdQlfEPLy9a9tOwskYUo1h4NLBqNMvQErDfCJbA2nC3yGdEX3YfypN4FF_ZgOXzPmx16nC5jv7ag4uBHSFFWXTj3ZYFMjqvoJPvdKOtdYgbAqqh6EqV2SX78cz-YspYwOZ/s1600/roommate.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs58Z1oBQEiQLdQlfEPLy9a9tOwskYUo1h4NLBqNMvQErDfCJbA2nC3yGdEX3YfypN4FF_ZgOXzPmx16nC5jv7ag4uBHSFFWXTj3ZYFMjqvoJPvdKOtdYgbAqqh6EqV2SX78cz-YspYwOZ/s320/roommate.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482367074062666866" /></a><br /><b>This Man Is Weak, and Can Be Exploited</b></div><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Dear Tight Fist,<br /><br />My housemate is a spendaholic. He has a trust fund, and the thing he loves most in the world is spending money. He buys expensive wine, useless gadgets, clothes he hardly ever wears, and orders out for food. I was puzzled for sometime about, what appeared to me, an inconsistency in his behavior. Even though he spends a considerable amount of money to have "nice things", he leaves trash and boxes all over the house. When I go into the dining room, it is always covered in glasses, plates, take-out containers. I was puzzled, why would someone go through so much trouble to have nice things, and then leave trash everywhere.<br /><br />I think your readers will be interested in my theory of his behavior. The trash is a reminder of the spending, and that makes him feel good, so he is less inclined to pick it up. Imagine the following scenario; you bring home an attractive girl and the next morning after she has gone you notice she left her knickers on your dresser. You might not be inclined to immediately clean them up. The joy of opening a package only lasts so long. So to draw out the joy of spending, the trash must stick around also as a reminder to him and everyone else of the conquest.<br /><br />Sizzizneerly yizzours,<br />Mr. Clean</span><br />----------------------------------<br /><br />Dear Mr Clean,<br /><br />At first glance, this looks like a terrible situation. Not only do you have a classic messy housemate, but his ridiculous spending is likely to make any Tight Fister's blood boil. However, this situation also presents a number of excellent opportunities.<br /><br />First of all, since your roommate has tons of crap he doesn't need you should have no guilt mooching off of him. I mean, you never know when you're going to want to eat some waffles, wear brand named clothes ironically, or drink a cold beer from your <a href="http://people.virginia.edu/~jes9t/images/home/kegerator.jpg" target='_new'>college-branded kegerator</a>. Plus, it's a well known rule of communal living that food left out is open game.<br /><br />But that still doesn't solve the messiness problem. The way you do this is to convince Mr. Moneybags to hire a maid and have him pay for it. How the hell are you going to do this? Well, you're going to need to exploit the same weakness that causes the trash in the first place. If you roommate needs physical manifestations of his own spending, a maid can certainly provide that. But not just any maid.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><object width="383" height="310"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8bI2nVvDkck&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8bI2nVvDkck&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /></div><br />What you need is a <a href="http://www.maidsnheels.com/" target='_new'>skanky maid</a>; there are legit companies that provide this service. If your roommate is the kind of guy whose self esteem is so low that he needs to surround himself by tons of expensive crap, he is exactly the kind of guy who will go apeshit over the prospect of getting hot, topless/scantily clad chicks to do his cleaning. "Dude, hot chicks clean my house! That is so rad! All my friends will think I'm such a pimp! This will be even better than the time I bought that <a href="http://www.beertaps.com/jagdis.html" target='_new'>Jaegermeister dispenser</a> or my <a href="http://www.playboystore.com/nshop/product.php?view=detail&productid=PB-8210000&startColor[]=&dept=home&category=SignedOriginals&groupName=PlayboyHomeSignedOriginals" target='_new'>Hugh Hefner pipe</a>!"<br /><br />Just make up a flyer with some hot chicks on it and he will totally go for it. Also, make sure to take pictures of your chicks cleaning and put them up around the house so he has constant reminders of his conspicuous consumption. It's not exactly in great taste, but it's better than stacks of old pizza boxes.<br /><br />As for you, having a few extra scantily clad ladies roaming around your house can never be a bad thing. Just make sure they actually clean.<br /><br />The Tight Fist<br />-----------------------------<br />Is your spending out of control? Get Help. Ask The Tight Fist at thetightfist@googlemail.comThe Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5831340837316208945.post-78682633504029763252010-06-11T16:40:00.000+01:002010-06-11T16:43:14.922+01:00Ask The Tight Fist: Old Misers<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieGyoZSYMOFvT828i0WfB_Jz6SQHoCDfJkUjBlY2LwRfyjLJGEzQBbTl2IwAm-AzsnBx2Mlt0vjWrf-jhSQTRmI1w3e_ibLf3ZRIKl5kUz73xFM3ZaxfjqDY6PuCE6i-gop4UbmZ-ajFoz/s1600/oldmiser.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 212px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieGyoZSYMOFvT828i0WfB_Jz6SQHoCDfJkUjBlY2LwRfyjLJGEzQBbTl2IwAm-AzsnBx2Mlt0vjWrf-jhSQTRmI1w3e_ibLf3ZRIKl5kUz73xFM3ZaxfjqDY6PuCE6i-gop4UbmZ-ajFoz/s320/oldmiser.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5481540922997584226" /></a><br /><b>Giving Tight Fists a Bad Name</b></div><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Dear The Tight Fist,<br /><br />My problem is I just hate spending money. Oh I indulge in flights to see my children and when I visit or they visit I love spending money on feeding and entertaining them. But when it comes to the old gal it is hard to part with money. I have built up a healthy account in cash, CDs and Mutual Funds but don't want to part with it. I just enjoy seeing all of the money add up. <br /> <br />Am I a miser? I do eat well but enjoy what I call treasure hunting, most all of my clothes come from the Salvation Army or the Parish Thrift shop and I must say I do get lots of compliments on my wardrobe. I view spending money as a game.<br /> <br />Maybe that is my hobby.<br /><br />Evelyn</span><br />---------------------------- <br /><br />Dear Evelyn,<br /><br />First of all let me congratulate you for what seems to be a successful life of Tight Fisting. Stop worrying about whether or not you're a miser and instead bask in the fact that you have successfully warded off consumerism! The mere fact that you don't take pleasure buying expensive consumer goods for yourself means that years and years of constant advertising have failed to turn you to the dark side. Remember, there is nothing to feel guilty about! If you don't enjoy crap that you buy for yourself, then you don't need it.<br /><br />That being said, it would be a bit of a pity if you are depriving yourself of happiness due to excessive Tight Fisting. Remember, being a Tight Fist is not about self-deprivation. It's instead about finding greater happiness by removing our need for money. If the best way for you to enjoy your money is really just to watch it add up, then you have nothing to worry about. <br /><br />But is that really the case? Even if you don't take pleasure in buying useless crap, there might be other ways to convert your money into happiness. Maybe a nice <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2010/04/tight-fist-tip-38-travel-to-cheap.html">vacation</a>? Or a big charitable <a href="http://www.thetightfist.com/2009/12/tight-fist-gift-giving-guide.html">gift</a>? I've got a feeling there has to be something more exciting that just waiting for the next bank statement to be bigger than the last.<br /><br />The best part about being a Tight Fister is that you know you can easily live without much money. So if you blow a bunch of your cash on an around-the-world ticket or a new wing for the local hospital, you can feel secure knowing that your quality of life won't be diminished by your newfound relative poverty.<br /><br />One last thing: anyone who calls you a miser is just jealous because they are poor from years of profligate spending. Screw them.<br /><br />Wow, did I really just recommend to someone that they spend MORE money? Strange days indeed...<br /><br />The Tight Fist<br /><br />----------------------------<br />Frugality getting you down? Email The Tight Fist: thetightfist@gmail.comThe Tight Fisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12853527040756844624noreply@blogger.com3