Tight Fist Tip #49: Drinking at the Bar? Drink Beer.

God Bless America

In my last post, we determined that if staying in or pregaming, drinking shots is the Tight Fist friendly way to get drunk. But what if you've been dragged out to a bar, and are being forced to inebriate yourself at sobriety-inducing prices?

As always we use our go-to benchmark: volume alcohol per dollar. Let's start in the US, using the excellent DC dive bar The Mad Hatter as our pricing benchmark. I used happy hour prices (as I assume my followers are doing most of their drinking during happy hour), but the relative prices are indicative of normal pricing as well: a pint of beer and a well mixed drink are priced about equally, with wine being higher. So, how do they stack up?

Budweiser, 16oz: $3. Abv 5% = .8 oz alcohol; 193.3 calories; Calories/Oz alcohol = 241.67; Oz Alc/$ = .27
Mixed Drinks, 1.5 oz: $3. Avb 40% = .6 oz alcohol; 109.5 Calories; Calories/Oz alcohol = 182.5; Oz Alc/$ = .2
Wine, 6oz: $5. Abv 12% = .72 oz alcohol; 125.5 calories; Calories/Oz alcohol = 211.72; Oz Alc/$ = .14

The beer is the winner, by virtue of it containing a bit more alcohol per drink than a mixed drink. But notice that it's pretty close- if you're at a bar with generous mixed drink pours or pricey beers, the balance could easily tip in the drinks' favor. Shot and a beer combo? Don't mind if I do.

But what if you're across the pond in Europe? Well, it's well-known that spirit prices in Europe are totally out of whack.(Especially since most places have the gall to charge extra for the mixer, which I don't even get into here.) Let's do the same comparison at one of my favorite London haunts, The Lexington:

Kronenbourg 1664, 19.2 oz: £3.50. Abv 4.7% = .9 oz alcohol; 227 calories; Calories/Oz Alc = 254.44; Oz Alc/£: .26
Red Wine, 5.9oz: £4.10. Abv 12% = .71 oz alchohol; 149.9 Calories; Calories/Oz alcohol = 211.1; Oz Alcohol/Pound = .17
Smirnoff, 1.69oz: £4.15. Abv 40% = .68 oz alcohol; 123.4 Calories; Calories/Oz alcohol = 182; Oz Alcohol/Pound = .16

Here the beer easily defeats all comers, and the wine even edges out the spirits. And since the ridiculous Weights and Measures Act in the UK assures that you can never get a decent pour of a mixed drink, there is just no chance for the limey cocktail lover.

So kids, the formula has been discovered: take (a lot of) shots before you go out, and then nurse a few beers at the bar. Drunk with a full wallet- it's a good life.

Tight Fist Tip #48: Drinking at Home? Take Shots.

These Girls Are Smarter Than They Look.

In my last post, we explored different beer types and came to one clear conclusion: never drink light beer. But with so many drunkefying options available, is beer really your best choice? When you head out on the town, what's your call? Beer, wine, or hard alcohol? We will again rely on our go-to metric: ounces of alcohol per dollar.

This comparison is less straightforward, as prices vary widely by bar and by type of booze. In this post, we concentrate on supermarket prices, taken from Bevmo. As any good Tight Fister knows, "premium" wine and spirits are nothing more than branding trickery, so we go with low-priced options. (Prices are $2.99 for a bottle of wine, and $15 for a 1.75L handle of Gordon's Vodka.) Here's the breakdown, using USA "standard drink" volumes for easy comparison:

Budweiser, 12oz: $1.10. Avb 5% = .6 oz alcohol; 145 Calories
Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = .55; Calories/Oz alcohol = 241.67

Vodka, 1.5 oz: $.38. Avb 40% = .6 oz alcohol; 109.5 Calories
Oz Alcohol/Dollar = 1.57; Calories/Oz alcohol = 182.5

Wine, 5oz: $.59. Abv 12% =.6 oz alcohol; 127 Calories
Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = 1.02; Calories/Oz alcohol = 211.67

The vodka comes out as the winner by a long shot, providing almost 3 times as much alcohol per dollar as a Bud! The astute among you may argue that the purchase of spirits allows more of a scale factor, but we could do the same analysis of if you bought an entire keg of Bud, and it still gets smoked:

Budweiser, 12oz: $.71. Avb 5% = .6 oz alcohol; 145 Calories
Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = .85; Calories/Oz alcohol = 241.67

And just to be clear, I didn't even pick the super-cheap hangover-inducing homeless person vodka. (Which of course, I do support in theory.) Gordon's is standard well booze.

Moral of the story: get wasted on hard liquor at home. And as an added bonus, it's also the most calorie-efficient option. Of course, if you want to get less drunk and more fat you can waste your money by mixing your booze with sugar water, but even with that you're going to be more efficient than wine or beer.

Also, hard liquor is easy to put in a flask to make your experience at the bar (or ballgame) even more Tight Fist friendly. But what if you've screwed up and end up at a bar without your trusty flask, and are, God forbid, sober? Rest assured Tight Fisters, we will have the bar analysis in the next post. Preview: hard liquor is no longer the winner. Exciting!

Tight Fist Tip #47: Don't Drink Light Beer

Wasting money is so hot right now.

There's nothing like the introduction of a completely inessential product to test Tight Fist techniques. It's not immediately clear why anyone at Budweiser thought that Bud Light Platinum was a great idea, but it presents an interesting possibility: marketed as higher alcohol and lower calorie, this is potentially an efficient purchase. Let's break it down.

When considering what to buy, the metric is simple: most alcohol per dollar. Since we're considering light beers, we'll also vaguely consider the calorie count, as some of you people out there prefer to waste your money by eating too much food. As we will be just comparing various brands of Budweiser, we will not consider taste. That is because all these beers taste like crap. (Prices taken from Safeway.com.)

Budweiser, 12oz: $1.00. Avb 5% = .6 oz alcohol; 145 Calories
Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = .6; Calories/Oz alcohol = 241.67

Bud Light, 12oz: $1.00. Avb 4.2% = .504 oz alcohol; 115 Calories
Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = .504; Calories/Oz alcohol = 228.17

Bud Light Platinum, 12oz: $1.17. Avb 6% = .72 oz alcohol; 137 Calories
Ounces of Alcohol/Dollar = .61; Calories/Oz alcohol = 190.28

What's the takeaway message? Well, purchasing Bud Light is completely idiotic. Not only is it more expensive to get drunk, but saves you almost no calories over normal Bud. The new Bud Light Platinum, however, is not such a bad deal. It has basically the same amount of alcohol per dollar, but fewer calories for those who care. This analysis also relies on Bud Light Platinum being only 17% more expensive than normal Budweiser. If that wedge is greater, stick with the normal Bud.

In case you've forgotten, check out previous posts on efficient drinking here and here.

For a related perspective on Bud Light Platinum, check out my friends at J Street Beer.